Bullying

Who is a Bully?

A bully is someone who threatens, scares, or hurts other people so they will do what the bully wants.

What does Bullying look like?

Bullying can be physical, social (bullying within friendships, such as exclusion), verbal (put-downs, taunts, name-calling, starting rumors), and intimidation (threats, making someone do something, extortion).

What can we do about Bullying?

1. Simple, one word response to bullying such as saying “So?”
   Repeating simple phrases to bullying statements takes away from what the bully is trying to get, a strong reaction.

2. Be a broken record
   Repeating simple statements in a calm voice in response to whatever the bully does.  For example:
   
   Bully:  “Oh, look at your hair! Did someone cut it with a hedge trimmer?”
   You:    “Stop talking to me like that.”
   Bully:  “Oh, I’m scared, what are you gonna do?
   You:    “Stop talking to me like that.”

3. Body Language/Facial expression/Tone of voice
   How children present themselves physically and vocally can have an impact on how others treat them.  For example, looking down, whispering, and being hunched over give a much different message to a bully than standing up straight, looking them in the eye and using a clear and firm voice.

4. Breathe Deeply
   It is natural to feel scared and become tense (feel hot, hands clenched, face grimaced) when children are in a bullying situation.  Taking steps to calm down can help a child to think more clearly and make responsible choices.  Stopping and taking time to take some deep breathes can help children to calm down.  It also allows them time to think before acting.

5. Use humor
   Sometimes making a funny comment or joke can help to diffuse the bullying situation and potentially change the focus of the situation.  It is important however to not laugh at the bully.  For example:
   
   Bully:  “Oh, look at your hair! Did someone cut it with a hedge trimmer?”
   You:  “Yeah, I am trying for the Albert Einstein look”

6. Get help
   Sometimes a bullying situation can not be solved alone and having children seek safety and guidance from an adult is essential.

**It is important to note that these strategies are meant as suggestions that may help your child in bullying situations.  Unfortunately, there is not one perfect solution for bullying. Each bullying situation presents its own uniqueness that should be taken into consideration.